Sephora Makeover Mess

 

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Why can’t my road to self-improvement be smooth? Most of my clothes are sloppy and too large, I’m about 40 pounds overweight and people still mistake me as a high school student. It’s a slow process but hopefully by 2017 I’ll at least look like a capable adult (even though adulting is harder than I though it would be).

This week I decided to take the plunge and sign up for a 45 minute makeover at Sephora at the King of Prussia Mall. Finding the right shade of foundation and concealer is far too intimidating for one person. What if the wrong shade is chosen? I might end up looking like a clown and wasting money at the same time. I though it was wiser to delegate this task to “professionals”who actually work with cosmetics on a daily basis.

On Saturday I dragged myself (along with my family who invited themselves along) to the store and sat down in anticipation. For some reason mom hovered around me, but I quickly shooed her away. The women assigned to accentuate my beauty was named  Romaine. I chucked to myself when I read her name tag. How could a parent name their child after a vegetable?

As I looked her in the eyes I saw Romaine’s face was chock full of makeup. She looked so shiny and bright that I feared for my own skin. I didn’t think she’d overdo my makeover since I specifically asked for a fresh, natural look. The procedure seemed to be going well in the beginning. I starred in wonder as my skin was exfoliated, and cleansed and smoothed. I actually felt refreshed and awake.

After the skincare products and foundation were applied however, everything seemed to go downhill. I tried to stay attentive, but it was difficult to keep track of everything Romaine told me. Bronzer, Highlighter, Eyeliner, and Eye shadow. It was all too much. Eventually my mind turned to mush.

When I saw the finished product, my mind was horrified. The Lindsay Jordan I knew was replaced with replaced with a stiff and shiny wax figure. Even my family thought I looked strange. The session required me to make a minimum purchase of $50, so I just paid for my skin products (all the products would’ve cost well over $100). Later that night I fumed in bed, angry and disappointed. “I just want to look put together!” I thought to myself. Simple personal grooming shouldn’t cause stress. I was later encouraged by my coworkers after I told them about my ordeal.

“The whole cosmetics journey is just trial and error” they said. I have yet to venture into MAC (which apparently has a plethora of foundation shades) or Macys so I guess this experience is just beginning. Why can’t it be a bit less painful?

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